A letter to my Anxiety..

Hello there. Friend. Enemy. Betrayer. Manipulator.

You have been in here a while now, and I guess you will not be leaving anytime soon. Everything is a fear for me, a sign of danger, a thought of worry. That is all down to you.

I am not the same person I was 1, 2, 3, 4 years ago and so forth. That is all down to you.

I have been hiding in the shadows for far too long now. Shadows that were made of anxiety. Shadows that just exist in my head. I cannot get rid of you and you will always be there. Yet these days, I am glad you are there. Do you know why? Do you know why I have learnt to accept your existence in my body and my soul?

Because of you; I started blogging.

Because of you; I am more motivated than ever to achieve my dreams and aspirations of helping others and making changes in the world.

Because of you; I finally asked for support and help for the issues I suffer from on a daily basis.

Because of you; I am my own individual.

It does not matter if you make me cry everyday. If you make me want to hide in the shadows of despair.

What matters is that every day, regardless of how hard it is, I will face you time and time again. You may always be there, but I can try my best to make sure you do not control me. Yes, the world may be a scary place and yes, you may almost want to protect me from it. But that is NOT what I want. I want to experience every corner of life, regardless of how scary it may be. You may try everytime to make me mentally and physically sick once again, but even if that is the case, I will not stop. I will not stop being who I am and doing great things in life. I will not stop making every little bit of life count; it is too short as it is. You may make tears fall from my eyes, but I shall continue to smile through the dark times and smile even more through the bright ones.

You made me feel isolated so many times. How does it feel now it is the other way round?

There will always be battles between me and you until the day I die, but guess what?

I WILL win in the end, m’dear.

Much love,

Rhi. X

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RHI’S BOOK REVIEW SERIES: The Little Book Of Calm and The Little Book Of Happiness.

Hello, darlings. ❤

In the latest addition of ‘Rhi’s Book Review Series’, I am talking about 2 very small, but very influential books, which give you therapy, as well as a good little read. I always see books as a type of therapy, but these two especially are so tiny and cute, yet wonderful!

The Little Book of Calm is written by Paul Wilson, whilst The Little Book Of Happiness is written by Patrick Whiteside. They are both designed so well that I actually thought that they had the same author- I was very much incorrect! ‘Calm’ gives you a hell load of tips on how to calm yourself when feeling stressed or anxious. I always make sure that I take this around with me, because it is so useful to have (I think we can all agree that life is extremely stressful and we forget that it does not have to always be that way). Probably two of my favoruite quotes from this tiny book is:cttbph7xgaade-jcttbpiaxeaabd8g

“Take all the time in the world: Contrary to what you may tell yourself, you have all the time in the world to do whatever you choose. What cannot be fitted into your day cannot be done- forget about it”, as well as “Find wonder in all you do: There is little doubt that those who get the most from life are those who look for the wonder in even the smallest things they do.  Cultivate this skill and you’ll find peace and satisfaction  as well.”

‘Happiness’ gives you little tips about how you can find happiness in even the smallest of things that you do. Like its counterpart, this book is very much uplifting and allows you have a smile to yourself, or even shed a few tears, as it gives you the chance to unwind. Two fo my favourite quotes from this book are:cttbph8wiaaabbycttbph9wiaawp6o

“Use your senses…..Seek beauty…In a flower, a dewdrop, in the scent of incense or woodsmoke” and “Sometimes thinking leaves us bewildered. et the bewilderment pass…Pause. Take a break…Let your mind work by itself.”

Both these books are something that you can read over and over again, without getting bored. Whenever you feel overwhelmed, stressed or upset, turning to these two books makes things that little bit better. I defintely suggest that you all give these a go when in times of need or suggest it to other people that you think would benefit!

Much love,

Rhi. X

An 18th Birthday Adventure.

Hello, loveilies!

As many of you are aware it was my 18th birthday on Saturday and oh my, it was bloody amazing!

It was a day of just happiness, peace and a rather large amount of food and alcohol, haha! It was a day that I did not become overwhelmed with fear or anxiety about issues going on in my life….I felt gernerally happy, which is something that can be a rare feeling for me sometimes.

I recieved such lovely birthday wishes, cards and gifs from family and friends. Things that I will treasure forever. I saw family members in the morning, then went shopping in Worcester with those that I am really close to. It is fair to say that this shopping and meal trip was certainly an interesting and hilarious one to be part of!!

Additionally, in the evening, I was surprised with a trip bowling and some more wonderful gifts, some of which I know will be an interest to you wonderful lot, and there will be blog posts about them in the near future. The kitchein in my house is currently bombarded with sweet food items, which I will probably be unable to finish until this time, next year…

At the bottom of this blog post, I have attached some photos from this lovely day that I had. Finally, thank you so much to you all for all the wonderful birthday messages, you’re all so kind! I am so grateful to everyone for making it such a great day. ❤

Adulthood is what you make it and I like to think that I will make it an exciting and a truly delightful expereince in my lifetime.

Much love,

Rhi. X

18 things that I have learnt over the past 18 years.

Hello, darlings!

So tomorrow, I FINALLY BECOME 18 YEARS OLD, AHHHHH! If you cannot already tell, I am extremely excited!! To celebrate this milestone, I thought I would do a post about the 18 main things that I have learnt over the past 18 years that I have been on this planet.

  1. Always show kindness to others.- I have learnt that kindness is one of the most powerful traits to have. Everyone goes through personal issues and a bit of kindness is always a great help. Even if they do not necessarily show it back, it is the thought that counts and also helps you build as a person.
  2. Good manners cost nothing.- My Father taught me this a long time ago, and it has been something that I have always remembered.
  3. It is okay to not be okay.- I, like many people, have been through a large amount of issues in the past few years. I learnt that no-one can always be okay and we will all go through bad times. Do not hide from your problems; face them.
  4. Some people are toxic. (Cut them out)- We have all had the experience of having toxic people in our lives, even if we do not realise it. I learnt that my life became much easier when I taught myself that toxic people are not needed in my life and I am better off without them.
  5. Exam stress is a thing.- It does not matter how much you try to deny it, exam stress does exist and everyone will have it at some point….. It is important to learn how to deal with it effectively!
  6. Friends are family.- Don’t get me wrong, I love my blood relatives very much, but I have found out over the years that my friends are also my family. They have been there for me through so much and I see them as a part of the famalam. Xoxo
  7. Those who are meant to be in your life will always find a way to be there- I am a massive believer of this. In life, people drift away from you and if they are meant to be in your life, they will find a way to do that.
  8. Help others.- Helping others has become a significent part of who I am. I feel a high amount of satisfaction and happiness when I help others. I just need to remember to keep looking after myself too!
  9. I am loved.- For many people, especially those who suffer from mental health issues, there are times when you believe that the world is against you and that you are someone who is not loved. I still get it sometimes, but I am starting to understand that it is in my mind; not reality.
  10. Life can be tough, but you will get through it!- Life can be pretty crap sometimes, but with determination and bravery, you will get through and be even better than you were before.
  11. Crying does not make you weak.- In society, there is a facade that crying makes you weak. It does not, it makes you stronger and it can make you feel refreshed after, because you are not throwing your feelings into the darkness.
  12. Be honest about your feelings and thoughts- I have spent many years keeping quiet and not speaking about how I am feeling/ the thoughts in my head. It can be difficult to express what you want to say, but is important to tell people. Not only does it take some pressure of your shoulders, but other people may feel the same and/or you can talk to people about what you are thinking.
  13. Ice cream is great.- I think we can all agree that ice cream is wonderful and a great comfort on difficult days. Plus, there are many glorious flavours!!
  14. Reading teaches you a lot.- As said in my previous post, reading is a wonderful tool for knowledge, empathy and creativity. It is a big part of who I am and I wouldn’t change it for the world. I have been a enthusiast for books since an early age and I am so happy for that.
  15. Heartbreak exists, it sucks.- Yeah, it really does, but how you decide to use this experience for future reference is up to you!
  16. Work and play hard.- Working hard is very rewarding and by doing so, you will feel great and also be able to have a great time afterwards.
  17. It is important to be a good role model.- Future generations will look up to you and ask for advice. Be a good role model and show them how to be great and individual people.
  18. Life has only just begun.- Sure, I am terrified for adulthood, but I can assure you all, I am going to make it bloody brilliant!!

Much love,

Rhi. X

English Literature is pretty damn great!!

Hello, darlings!

As many of you may be aware, I am a massive enthusiast of English Literature. Over the years, it has become a definite favourite subject of mine, which is also what I want to study at University, next year!

So, why do I love English Literature so much? Well, I guess it is because not only can you learn so much from it, but books allow you to escape from the stress of life for a while and become absorbed into poetry, stories, ideas and pure beautiful creatvity.

I believe that you can become a lover of Literature at any time in your life. I think that something that sometimes puts people off the subject of Literature or reading in general is mainly either because of social pressure or possibly personal issues, such as dyslexia. Please don’t ever let that stop you! Anyone is allowed to enjoy English Literature and all its wonderful aspects!

Whilst being at Sixth Form, I have done a range of work experience, and some of it has been based in English classes for people who are younger than me. The attitude towards english and reading is not at its greatest if you speak to young people, and that generally breaks my heart.

Motivate others to start reading, join a local book club, engage with others who have an interest in Literature. There is so much hatred in the word and Literature is such a powerful and beautiful source that we created, which spreads knowledge, love and the true creatvity that can be found in the world. We are so wound up in day to day life and the negativity in society, that we don’t allow ourselves to appreciate the small and beautiful things in life. Help to change that!

Much love,

Rhi. X

 

I couldn’t push people out of my life, even if I tried.

Hello, m’dears!

Something has come to my attention today about the past few years, regarding my inability to push people out of my life,  even if they hurt me to a large extent.

I guess one of the reasons I feel this way is because I am an extremely empathetic person. I find that as someone who suffers from severe anxiety, my empathy and connection with other people grows stronger everyday. Living with intense fear and worry all the time means that I have the ability to understand intensly why other people are feeling the way they do.

In a way, I think that is a postive trait to have, because I find that I really don’t want to get into arguments or cause emotional pain to other people, because I know how it feels to feel hurt or upset. If someone is causing me to feel upset, all I want to do is for the situation to calm down, give them a hug and work through things together. I have so much love inside of me and that urges me to want to go into a career that helps other people through a variety of things. Everyone acts the way they do for a reason and sometimes having someone listen to you or give you a hug is a great help.

However, the issue about feeling this way is that anyone could use that as an advantage to themselves. They could hurt me and they would know that I would still always be there for them and want them in my life. There have been a variety of times when people have hurt me, and anyone else would push them out of their life, but that is something I feel unable to do. I am so empathetic and caring towards others that even saying something that may remotely hurt their feelings makes me want to start crying. ( I am a very sensitive and emotional person, if you had not already gathered that, haha!)

Both my mind and heart wants to be surrounded by great people. But neither know how to do that without accidentally also letting poisionus people in through the door. So much stuff has occurred in my life and that has made me so clingly to people who are in my life, due to fear and paranoia of them just abandoning me, like some people have. People that I care greatly about.

My apologies for this post of rambling, oops! This week has been a time where my anxiety has been sky high and I just wanted to get some of my thoughts out on my online journal aka my blog.

See you lovely human beings soon!
Much love,

Rhi. X

How to motivate yourself when you aren’t motivated at all

I highly suggest this blog post for anyone who is having a crap day, it was of help to me!

 

Well… Let’s fix this situation right now   I know from first hand that sometimes it is just too difficult to keep going… you feel all your life is crap immerse on de…

Source: How to motivate yourself when you aren’t motivated at all

I am proud.

Hello, sweet peas.

I think it is always important to give yourself recognition for the things you are proud of achieving. Being proud of yourself does not mean that you are selfish or that you are self obsessed, but that you are aware that you are growing and improving as a person everyday.

Here are some things that I am proud of myself for:

  1. I am proud of always trying to be kind and empathetic towards others. It may be tiring and frustrating sometimes, but showing kindness to others gives me a lovely sensation that I have done something good. I also find that being a kind and empathetic person has allowed me to make great friends and has taught me more communication skills.

2. I am proud for getting out of bed everyday, even if I feel like life is suffocating me. There have been many times when I have just wanted to cry under my duvet or stare at the ceiling for hours, wanting the world to swallow me whole. I always fight back. I have learnt to force myself out of bed, regardless of my anxiety for the upcoming day, and many times I am pleasently surprised. I try my best to make the most of the day, even if my health, mentally, is having a bad day (Which happens a lot). Life is a strange place and it is okay to struggle sometimes, but it is always good to teach yourself how to attempt to rise up against your mind.

3. I am proud of myself for surrounding myself with great people. Finding yourself a life of happiness starts with making sure that the people you surround yourself with are people that are going to have a positive impact on you, not a negative one. At the end of the day, you deserve so much more than being put down and pulled back by negativity. I am glad I know what people who deserve to be in my life look like- Something I have taught myself to be aware of since the age of 16.

4. I am proud of myself for making this blog about life and raising awareness about a range of topics. Especially after being open about my own issues with other people, I wanted to become a blogger who inspired and helped others, as well being part of an amazing community. It takes motivation and determination, but I already have a great following and I fall more and more in love with blogging everyday.

5. I am proud of myself for working hard to complete the many goals that I have in life. Goals can only be achieved with hard work and I make sure that I try to do that everyday. Life brings me down and makes me want to sit in a dark room, but I know if I continue to work hard for what I want, important goals that I have an urge to complete will be achieved. I may not always have faith and belief in myself, but damn, it feels good when I make an achievement, regardless of whether that is small or large.

What have you done that has made you proud of yourself? Please feel free to share!!

Much love,

Rhi. X

Rhi’s Book Review Series- Reasons To Stay Alive by Matt Haig.

Hello, darlings!

As a massive lover of Literature and books, I thought it would be right to start a book review series about the many books that I have tendency to read. I hope you enjoy it!!

The first book that I wanted to review is called ‘Reasons To Stay Alive’ by Matt Haig. I recieved this book by a very close friend of mine who read it herself whilst going through a tough time and therefore gave it to me when I was also struggling. I am so bloody glad she did!

‘Reasons To Stay Alive’ is a true story that tells Matt Haig’s battle with depression and anxiety, detailing every twist and turn to recovery and how he learned to want to live once again.

I absolutely love this book because it is written is such a great way. Matt Haig writes the book with such passion, which balances both the humor and more serious aspects of living with mental health issues which he speaks about with such honesty. He does not speak as someone from the outside, but as someone who can be seen as someone to trust and to go to for advice when in need of it.

WIth some books, people can sometimes find it difficult to connect with pieces of work which include topics that relate to them, because they may feel the the author is talking at them and not with them. Matt Haig is a brilliant example of how books about advice should be written.

Not only does the book talk about the author’s story and how his mental health deterioriated, but also about how his mental health improved. He makes it clear that suffering from a mental health issue does not disappear, but can be managed and that there is in fact light at the end of the tunnel. The book also includes advice and to me personally, it acted as an extremely good counselor who was not patrionising, but was empathetic and supportive.

Obviously, you should not just rely on 1 book to improve your mental health issues, but this book is a great start in recovery! Furthermore, it is not just useful to those who are struggling, but also family and friends of those who may be living with mental disorders, as it increases understanding and decreases the stigma that is attached. The writing style used throughout is also amazing and so is easy for anyone to read, which is always a great plus!

Please read it, it shall give you a change of perspective about life!

Hope you enjoyed this review!
Much love,

Rhi. X

 

The Black Cat Blue Sea Award.

This award is for bloggers who strive to write for everybody, and no matter how many viewers they get, make an impact on a reader.”

Hello, lovelies!

It is really lovely that I have been nominated for this award. My appreciation goes to the wonderful Confessionsofareborngirl, whose a fab blogger which y’all should check out!

Here are my answers to the 3 questions I have been asked to answer!

  1. Who’s your favorite singer/band right now?

To be quite honest, I am into a lot of different singers and bands right now from a whole range of genres. All I can say is that my favourites include The Neighbourhood, PVRIS, Metallica, 30 Seconds To Mars, ScHoolboy Q, Bastille, Grimes and Twently One Pilots.

2. Where do you get the inspiration for your blog from?

The people around me in everyday life, my interests, as well as a variety of topics that I come across. I love running a blog which suits to a large range of people about loads of topics!

3. What’s your favorite thing to do on a rainy day?

On a rainy day, I love to be as snug as a bug in a blanket, drinking hot chcolate, and reading a book or watching a film/TV programme. That being said, I usually am forced to face the rain as I have to be on my way to places such as Sixth Form or other plans I have made! Haha, oh well!

My 3 questions are:

  1. Why did you begin blogging?
  2. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?
  3. How do you like to spend your free time?

I have inserted a copy of the rules and who I have nominated below…..Thank you once again for the nomination! Much love,

Rhi. X

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7 Lucky Nominees:

Boilersuitbabe

Robertapimental

Houseofhorrors

Unveilingtheincogitable

Akinderway

Thecliffhangerchronicle

Theshimmerwithinher

 

 

Belated World Suicide Prevention Day Post.

Hello, hunnies!
Yesterday was World Suicide Prevention Day….(September 10th). My apologies for not doing this blog post sooner, I was unable to get the time to do it! As you are most likely aware, this day is used to raise awareness of mental health and the topic of suicide. Not only does it put into perspective how important our mental health is, but it also allows people to be aware of the signs that could signify that someone is struggling.

I put this status on my Facebook, which shows my opinion on how important this awareness day is:

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As mentioned in that status, it is so important that we talk openly about mental health and refrain from seeing it as a tabboo subject. Those who follow me know that I am a big supporter of raising awareness and helping others. The world has come very far in accepting mental health issues and learning how to look after our own minds.On the contray, stigma and misunderstanding is still in the mist and will not disappear until everyone is motivated to help change become a reality.

Please know that if you would like to chat about anything or need advice, you’re more than welcome to message me on Facebook or contact me via Twitter (my username is LittleRhiRhi_).

If you are in need of help, the Suicide Prevention Number is  1-800-273-8255 and I shall also attach some links to some mental health organisations. Please know that Suicide and/or suffering in silence is never the way forward and there are others way to get through the darkness.

Much love,

Rhi. X

Mental Health Organisations.

 

Why did I decide to start blogging?

Hello, you wonderful souls!

Ahhh, okay, Rhi. BREATHE.

Here is a more personal post, regarding my reasons for deciding to enter the blogging world! Now, for those who have had the chance to have a look at my ‘About’ page, you will already have some brief idea on my reasons, but this post will go into more detail about it.

I had been very much intriged about the idea of blogging for a while, as it seemed like a great community to be part of and to share my thoughts and ideas about the world we live in. Addtionally, I have a love for writing, so being on a blogging platform would enable me to keep all my English skills flowing. There is a more personal reason though: As I have mentioned in some previous posts, I suffer from rather bad anxiety issues, which makes day to day life difficult for me. What makes it worse is that having anxiety makes my life feel overwhelming the majority of time and it is extremely difficult to escape from that thought process.

Blogging, writing and reading enables me to escape for a short amount of time from the impending fear and anxiety that I suffer from nearly every moment of everyday. I guess that is why I am so passionate to embark on a career that involves English Literature and people. It is so I can help others through the use of  a subject that I love and help others incorporate coping strategies when feeling overwhelmed and to talk about their thoughts/feelings, which leads onto my next reason. I feel that my main objective is to help others, as long as I am alive on this planet. My blog is based around a large amount of different life topics, advice and discussions. My blog acts as a place for people to learn and discuss about a variety of things that come around in life, as well as helping to fight stigma, especially about a range of mental health issues.

What I love about blogging is that I have already been in contact with so many lovely and diverse people through it, which shows what a delight it is to be part of the community. I love that I am able to help and give advice to others just because of my thoughts that I share on my blog. I want to be a postive impact on other people’s lives and help others. Having a blog enables me to do that.

Rhi. X