Hello there. Friend. Enemy. Betrayer. Manipulator.
You have been in here a while now, and I guess you will not be leaving anytime soon. Everything is a fear for me, a sign of danger, a thought of worry. That is all down to you.
I am not the same person I was 1, 2, 3, 4 years ago and so forth. That is all down to you.
I have been hiding in the shadows for far too long now. Shadows that were made of anxiety. Shadows that just exist in my head. I cannot get rid of you and you will always be there. Yet these days, I am glad you are there. Do you know why? Do you know why I have learnt to accept your existence in my body and my soul?
Because of you; I started blogging.
Because of you; I am more motivated than ever to achieve my dreams and aspirations of helping others and making changes in the world.
Because of you; I finally asked for support and help for the issues I suffer from on a daily basis.
Because of you; I am my own individual.
It does not matter if you make me cry everyday. If you make me want to hide in the shadows of despair.
What matters is that every day, regardless of how hard it is, I will face you time and time again. You may always be there, but I can try my best to make sure you do not control me. Yes, the world may be a scary place and yes, you may almost want to protect me from it. But that is NOT what I want. I want to experience every corner of life, regardless of how scary it may be. You may try everytime to make me mentally and physically sick once again, but even if that is the case, I will not stop. I will not stop being who I am and doing great things in life. I will not stop making every little bit of life count; it is too short as it is. You may make tears fall from my eyes, but I shall continue to smile through the dark times and smile even more through the bright ones.
You made me feel isolated so many times. How does it feel now it is the other way round?
There will always be battles between me and you until the day I die, but guess what?
I WILL win in the end, m’dear.