Body Confidence: Why is it so difficult to maintain positivity about our bodies?

Hello once again, buttercups!

I am certainly someone who has times when I feel extremely low about myself and wish I was just someone else entirely. I have found though that my low self esteem has decreased over the past year or so. I guess that my issue about how I see myself has been pushed a bit into the shadows by other issues in my life and by the fact that I have more knowledge about mental health than I did a year ago. I have stretch marks, scars and imperfections, but they all make me the person I am and that is okay with me. None of us have positive body confidence at all times during our lifetime.

Why is it so difficult for us in modern day society to maintain positive body confidence about ourselves? The most obvious reason is down to media and the effect that it has on people, especially those of a younger age. However, I believe that it is not all just media’s fault.

Even though media may be a factor, there are other reasons why someone may have low body confidence. Past experiences, peer pressure and the lack of teaching about body confidence are some examples on why someone may not have confidence, regarding their physical appearance. I think the lack of teaching aspect is a massive factor, which like many topics that are not spoken about in schools enough, certainly need to be addressed. Furthermore, low body confidence has a tendency to link to the chemicals in our brain, especially for those who suffer from body dysmorphia  or an eating disorder. It upsets me that there are so many people out there who are suffering from low self esteem about how they see themselves. I guess that we have all been thrown into this loop where we feel that we are not good enough, especially for those around us, even though it should only be us that we feel that we need to please.

We know that we should not please those around us, yet there appears to be that urge that we should feel guilty for feeling damn good about ourselves and not caring about what other people think. We need to learn how to love ourselves again and be the sassy, wonderful humans that we all are.

If you do feel like your low body confidence is affecting your day to day life, PLEASE GO AND SEE YOUR GP. I have attached some links at the end of this blog post about where to get help and important knowledge to be aware of if you think you or someone you know may be suffering.

I hope this blog post about my personal opinion on body confidence has been of interest to you all!

Much love,

Rhi. X

http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/body-dysmorphia/Pages/Introduction.aspx

http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/eating-problems/#.WAzEwOArLIU 

http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/eating-disorders/Pages/Introduction.aspx 

 

 

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The Little Things That Make Me Smile.

Hello, darlings!

I think it is always important to do the things that make you happy, as long as you are not harming yourself or others, of course.

As many of you are aware, my mental health has taken a large drop recently. Luckily, I finally start my therapy on November 3rd, yay! I will most certainly be starting a mini series to keep y’all updated about how it is going. Anyway, until I start getting proper help and support, I am trying all I can to smile at even the smallest of things that I see and do. Obviously, this is quite difficult when you are suffering from mental illnesses, but it is always good to try and practice mindfulness. So, I thought I would do a blog post today about the things that make me smile!

  1. Sunrises/Sunsets- I think we can all agree that the sight of a sunrise or a sunset are some of the most beautiful views that we can all experience in our lifetimes. Not only are they wonderful to look at, but they show that there is always a silver lining, regardless of how small it is.

2. Being surrounded by those you love and feel comfortable around- I often feel rather overwhelmed by people and just want to be left alone, but I do try and socialise with others. Being surrounded by those who you care about and feel comfortable around can be such a comfort and make you feel that little bit more peaceful and safer.

3. Hot chocolate/ Ice cream- These two things are the ULTIMATE comfort, regardless of what your mood is. I don’t know why, but they just make you feel satisfied and snuggly inside.

4. Long walks- I always appreciate long walks, whether they are in a city/town or in the countryside. I also love listening to music whilst walking (Or in any situation to be quite honest), because it allows me to escape from the stress of my life and the world around me for a little bit. Cannot beat a bit of The Weeknd or Bon Iver, aye?

5. Watching your favourite films or television shows- It does not matter what genre it is, watching your favourite film or television show helps you to feel emotions which acts as a relief and takes a weight off your shoulders!

6. Reading and Writing- I am a pure English Literature enthusiast and lover, so reading and writing are most certainly things that allow me some relief from what is going on in my mind. Not only do you learn about yourself from English Literature, but you also learn a large amount of knowledge from other people!

7. Autumn- Those who know me also know my ridiculous love for Autumn and everything about it. I don’t why I love it so much, but it gives me feelings of happiness and reminds me of how beautiful nature is. I certainly believe that people need to appreciate and show much more love towards nature than what is currently being shown.

I guess what I am trying to say that regardless of what is going on in your life and mind, it is important to at least try and find something that makes you smile even through the really crappy times that you may be experiencing. Please feel free to share the things that make you smile!!

Much love,

Rhi. X

What’s going on in that mind of yours?

Hello, everyone!

In answer to this blog post’s title, I really do not know what is going on in my mind. The thing about living with mental health issues is that you can feel too much or too little. I feel like I am in limbo at the moment because I am overwhelmed by the many thoughts in my head, yet also feel so numb.

I know that I will not feel so low forever, but I am also aware that the issues which my anxiety and depression cause will linger in the shadows, preparing to make a reappearance, regardless of if life is going well or not so well for me. What is really scaring me is that the last time I felt this overwhelmed and disassociated from everything was when I had my major breakdown in July. It is difficult to think of a metaphor to describe what it is like to live with mental health disorders; I think I have thought of one though. You know when you jump into water and for just a moment, you feel suffocated and panicky? Well, that is how I feel on a daily basis. Somedays, these feelings do not occur so much. Some others days, I feel these emotions and thoughts throughout the whole of the 24 hours.

What I have also found over the past few months is that it has become more difficult for me to lie or avoid the conversation with other people about how I am actually feeling. Maybe that is because many of my loved ones now understand more fully the severity of my bad mental health, and therefore are more observant of the warning signs. Sometimes, I wish people did not know as that would mean that I would not have to face the reality; I am ill. However, being open about my mental allows me to attempt to help myself a bit, as well as helping others.I feel a bit of tension has lifted from my shoulders when I speak up. I know that everyone is trying to help and be a massive support network for myself, and for that, I am so appreciative for everything that those around me are doing for me. I just wish that I did not feel like this. That I did not always feel anxious and fearful about practically everything. Don’t get me wrong, I know what happiness feels like and regardless of being mentally ill, I always try to smile and make positive memories. However, on many occasions this can be a struggle if I am mentally having a really shitty day.

I know I need help, and even though I had avoided this route for a while, I am desperate to start my therapy so professionals can help me at any means possible (I shall be starting my therapy in the next few weeks, hopefully, but you have to take into account of how big this waiting list has been). I really do not know what is happening in that mind of mine, it has become more of an irritant as the week has gone on. I know it is okay to not be okay. If I didn’t believe this, I would not have gone to my GP 2 months ago, desperate for help with tears in my eyes, begging to help these horrible feelings stop or at least decrease a bit through the use of counselling or/and medication.

I apologise for this intense post, but one of the main reasons I began this blog was to share my experiences of mental health, as well as a way to share my thoughts with other people, without wanting to burst into tears every 5 seconds. I guess one of the reasons I tear up whenever my mental health is brought up is because I personally feel extremely damaged and am fearful of the reactions of other people about what I say.

Anyway, I hope these thoughts calm down at least a bit in the next few days. I hope you’re all doing okay.

Much love,

Rhi. X

Guest post: Psychotic depression.

Today’s guest post is from the wonderful Eleanor who wants to share her experience, regarding Psychotic depression. She is an truly inspirational blogger and friend of mine , who like myself, wants to raise awareness of mental health….

Hello! First of all, thank you to Rhi for letting me write a guest post on her blog. Rhi has invited me to write a piece about mental health. I thought that I would write about write a little bit about my psychotic depression. Psychotic depression is a type of major depression that includes some form of psychosis. Sometimes it can be hallucinations, delusions or some other way of getting confused by reality. People with psychosis may hear ‘voices’ or they have have different ideas abut reality. I, personally, have been suffering from psychotic depression for a few years now. I was diagnosed with depression at age 15 and it has just got worse from there. I started to hear little voices in my head that told me that I just wasn’t good enough. They started to control my thoughts until it got to the point where they would have something to say about everything I do. For example, if I was to draw something, the voices would tell me that it wasn’t good enough and I would end up destroying the drawing. The voices in my head make everything harder. I struggle to wake up, sleep, look in the mirror, get dressed, cook a meal, attend social occasions and most other things that ‘normal’ people can do. At lot of the time, I have a ‘what’s the point?’ mentality. I feel like I will never accomplish anything because the voices just won’t let me. I struggle to focus on anything and my motivation is constantly low. If I can’t accomplish anything good then what’s the point of even being alive?! I couldn’t even get out of bed without the voices screaming hate at me. How am I meant to do anything good with my life? I feel suicidal occasionally. And by occasionally, I mean constantly! I would say that the only thing that keeps me from ending my life is the fact that I actually have no motivation to do it. Dogs are taking over my life. I see them in photos, on the road, in my house and just everywhere. Some of them are nice to me but others are savage and they want me dead. People tell me that they are in my head but I’m never sure. People tell me that I’m paranoid. I think that people are plotting to kill me but apparently they’re not. My psychotherapist tells me that people’s worlds don’t revolve around me but that’s hard for me to process. I think that people are following me when I walk down the street and I think that I’m being spied on. Apparently those things aren’t happening either. Sometimes I feel like the only thing that I’m motivated to do is to write my blog. That can be hard too though. It takes me such a long time to write each post because my words get confused and I start mixing up the letters. My life isn’t a complete waste though. I do some good things and I am proud of myself for still waking up everyday and just breathing. I want to just say quickly, if you also suffer from psychotic depression then you’re not alone. It affect about one out of every four people who are admitted to the hospital for depression.

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Yesterday, I was featured on the radio, talking about mental health!

Hello, everyone!

Just a  very quick blog post to let you all know that I was on my local radio station yesterday to talk about mental health in young people. http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p048kl6r is where you will find the interview, which begins at 1 hour 22 minutes on The Andrew Marston Show.

It was such a wonderful experience to be involved with and I am really glad that BBC Hereford and Worcester was so interested in the topic of mental health and the youth mental health charity that I work with.

I am so bloody excited for the near future mental health projects that I am going to be involved in; being a mental health activist is so wonderful. It took me ages to come out about my mental health disorders and that was whilst having to deal with a large amount of stigma and fear about what was going to come next. I never learnt about it whilst being in high school. I learnt through social media and close friends of mine. Young people are not given enough support and advice, regarding mental health, and that is a large reason why there are so many people suffering to extreme points.

I hope you all enjoy the interview! Just a lil’ heads up that the next blog post that goes up on my blog on Thursday is a wonderful guest post from the lovely Eleanor about Psychotic depression.

Much love,

Rhi. Xcuzk7zow8ae5-bu

One of my favourite days of the year: World Mental Health Day!

Hello, buttercups! Hope you’re all well.

Today is my favourite day of the year. No, it is not Halloween (Even though I love that too.) Today is World Mental Health Day; a day of raising awareness and support for mental health and everyone affected.

From a personal viewpoint; I have been through it all. I have had breakdowns, stigma and am a large sufferer of mental health issues. All of which I know far too well and have to deal with on a daily basis. From the outside, I appear to be a normal 18 year old getting on with life. On the outside, my mind makes me cripple with fear, sadness and anxiety. All of these aspects about my appalling mental health make life so much more difficult, especially as I am an student and my life cannot just stop because of the crappy disorders I suffer from.

However, I try to make a positive of this never stopping storm in my head. Not only am a student, but I am also an mental health blogger and work for a mental health charity called Strong Young Minds which raise awareness and support for young people in my county. To celebrate World Mental Health Day, me and one of my closest friends were involved in a pre-recorded interview to talk about the charity, mental health and our own experiences. I shall be sure to put up a link to the interview when it is released (Hopefully tomorrow)!

Why did we decided to be interviewed by the radio? Well, the answer is simple. We want to make a difference to the mental health community. Both me and my friend, Nicole, have to fight the wrath of mental health issues and we want to help others. During the interview, we also spoke about stigma and what we believe needs to change so young people receive more support and mental health is not stigmatized against. I absolutely loved this experience and I hope it is of help to people when it is released, eeekkk!!

My mental health is very much a see-saw at the moment. I am starting therapy sessions soon, which may lead to medication too if needs be. I am glad that I am finally receiving help after such a  long period of time of dealing with constant breakdowns and being unable to cope well with life in the slightest. There are over 200 mental health disorders that are out there so far, all of which affect people’s lives to an extremely large extent. I know many people, some of which are extremely close friends,  who are mentally unwell, and I will tell you now, they are all absolutely wonderful people. Mental health issues do not just go away, it is not like breaking a bone and it eventually healing. People who suffer from mental health issues will have to cope with their disorders for the rest of their lives. Sometimes, the disorders will turn their ugly face and other times, they will stalk in the shadows. They will always be there though.

For many years, I have believed I am crazy and weird. I know deep down that is not the truth, I am just struggling a lot and need support/ help, which I am beginning to get. Please know that if any of you are struggling, let someone know. Whether that is a friend, family remember, doctor or a mental health community. You are not weird and deserve so much in life.

Look out for the link to the radio interview, which shall hopefully make an appearance tomorrow or Thursday!

Much love,

Rhi. X

 

More Love Letters Project!!

Hello, hunnies!

I hope you’re all well! I decided that for today’s blog post, I would talk about a wonderful project called ‘More Love Letters’.

Founded in 2011 by Hannah Brencher, the aim is very simple. The aim is to write letters of kindness and love to strangers all over the world! Anyone can nominate someone to receive a love letter bundle, allowing that simple act of kindness from people to make a difference to others’ lives. I came across this project whilst researching projects to get involved in, which embrace positivity and that need of helping of helping others. Hannah began the project after she started suffering from depression when she moved to New York City. One day, she noticed another lady feeling the same way as her self, so wrote her a letter. From then on, her love of writing letters for other people increasingly grew, creating this wonderful project. Not only did she create moreloveletters.com, but she also wrote her own book about her journey to creating the project, which is called If You Find This Letter: My Journey to Find Purpose Through Hundreds of Letters to Strangers. Furthermore, she is the co-founder of another cute project called If You Find This Email, allowing anyone all over the world to leave their emails on the website about anything that they want. The emails that are posted on the website by people talk about their experiences and their open feelings and thoughts of people who have been or are in their lives. I bloody love this concept because it acts as a type of therapy for people, allowing them to express themselves and the emotions/ thoughts that they have in their minds! Both of these projects, as well as Hannah’s book are so inspirational and motivational, especially for those like myself who suffer from mental health issues and/or are mental health bloggers/ activists.

I have always tried to spread happiness and love to everyone I meet, because it is so important to remember that we can all go through so much crap and that being motivated by other people to carry on through the day can certainly make a large difference. The trait of the kindness not only can help others, but also has a positive impact on the person who is spreading that happiness onto other people. In the long run, happiness can be spread so easily by just a few kind words if we just take a few minutes out of our day to compliment someone or have a lovely conversation with another individual/ a group of people.

I hope I have built an interest from you lovely lot about this glorious project- The main reason that I wanted to speak about this today was to show that there are so many ways that you can spread happiness and kindness!

Much love,

Rhi.

 

I am a sibling of someone with special needs, and I would not change it for the world.

Hello once again, you lovely bunch!

I decided that I would do a spontaneous post today, a subject which is very much close to my heart.  I am the sister of someone who suffers from special needs.

There is so much stigma attached to people who are disabled/ have special needs and I would be lying if I said that it did not rile me up. However, in recent years, I have learnt that death staring at people is not going to help, and it is much more effective to talk instead and educate them.

From what me and my family are aware of, my brother, Daniel, has suffered from special needs since birth. It is extremely difficult to say what he suffers from, because both us and doctors do not really know.  ADHD is very likely one factor, but obviously there are probably other conditions that may be involved. Communication with Daniel can be difficult because he is unable to verbally communicate, so everyone who knows him tries to use different techniques in order to understand him, such as sign language or using PEC cards. PEC cards have different pictures of objects, food and activities on, which my brother can then point at to show what he wants to say.

There are so many different conditions out there, making it difficult for people who do not know my brother or others who disabled to know what to say. I completely understand. You want to communicate and get to know the person in question, but you do not want to accidentally cause offense or upset. Am I right?

My advise, regarding that, is to just be honest. The individuals and those close to them will respect you more for it and then it removes the elephant from the room. You will then be able to educate yourself on knowing someone who is disabled and build a strong bond with that person without worrying that you are going to hit a nerve.

Being a close family member of someone who is disabled can be very difficult; I will never deny that. There has been tears, anger and anxiety throughout the years. There have been times when I was younger when I wanted all these family issues to disappear. I am 18 years old now, and I wouldn’t change any of that heartache. I have seen Daniel go through some unimaginably awful stigma, and things became even more difficult when he had to go to residential special school.However, I have seen my younger brother turn into a wonderful, intelligent young man who has so much love for everyone he comes across. What really warmed my heart is when I saw him go over to one of my bestfriends on my birthday and give her a little cuddle!

Of course there is always that anxiety about what the future holds for him, but that will be focused on by my family and others who support him when those challenges arise. I am proud to be his older sister, an advocate for him, as well as being his bestfriend. In all honesty, every disabled person that I have come across have been some of the kindest and most lovable human beings that you could ever meet. For anyone who has a tendency to mock those who are disabled; please think more carefully and thoughtfully.

Much love,

Rhi. X

My Experience With Contraceptive Implants.

Hello, my darlings.

I thought I would have a conversation with you all about my experience with contraceptive implants- Birth control, as well as sex,  are topics which I believe are very important to speak about!!

Now, where to begin? When I was 16 years old, I decided to go on birth control. My decision in doing this was not only for the common reason that many girls have which is wanting to have protection which does not necessarily have to be just condoms, but also because of issues with my menstrual cycle. Since having periods from the age of 12, I had been one of those very unlucky ones who suffered really badly every month. Man, there were even times when I had to go home from school or social events because I was so ill and was also in a lot of pain. Basically, it really was not fun for me!

There are many types of birth control options which you can consider, whether that is for protection, period pains or both:

There is also the “Pull out method (Withdrawal)”, but I personally do not believe that it is a good method to use.

So, originally I wanted to go on the pill. I am pretty good at taking medication and remembering it, so this seemed like a pretty good path. I had heard that it was a help for those who suffer from their periods, as well as being a good protection. I went to my GP and had a conversation about it, in which by the end of the appointment, she subscribed me a type of pill (My apologies that I cannot for the life of me remember the name of the type of pill I was put on!) There are so many different birth control pill brands out there! For those of you who have not been on the pill,  you take it every day for 21 days, then stop for seven days, and during this week you have a period-type bleed (Also known as spotting). 7 days after, you start taking the pill once more.

This is when things start getting stressful….Right, the first few days of me taking the pill, I felt fine and as healthy as ever, but there was a catch. Some people’s bodies are unable to cope with the pill being in their system and therefore become pretty sick. By sick, I mean actually throwing up and having digestive system issues, if you get what I mean, and it was actually a rather terrifying experience. PLEASE KNOW THAT THIS IS  A PRETTY RARE OCCURRENCE AND MOST PEOPLE DO NOT HAVE THIS ISSUE!!! Anyway, after going through this ordeal, I obviously did not want to carry on taking this type of pill and did not want to try other types, in case I was ill once again.

At this point, I became interested in the possibility of having the contraceptive implant as an alternative. I was extremely apprehensive of this possibility  as I am unquestionably dreadful with needles or anything similar. However, I had a lot of confidence from my GP that it would not take long to do and I would not need to have it replaced for 3 years.

Two days after this discussion, I had my implant surgery. I was absolutely bloody terrified beforehand. I had never had this done before, so had no idea what to expect and if it would be a painful experience for me as I am hypersensitive to needles, which means that my pain tolerance to them is not good in the slightest. My GP and the nurse was absolutely delightful throughout the whole experience.  I had to be administrated local anaesthetic in my left arm to numb it, which is where I was having the implant. Most people find the procedure perfectly fine and not painful in the slightest. However, because of how high my hypersensitivity to needles are, I certainly did not find it a fun experience. Having the actual implant did not hurt at all because my arm was numb from the anaesthetic, it was actually having my arm numbed that caused me a large amount of discomfort.(Once again, this is not the case for many people!!) h9991503_001

The whole experience only took 5 minutes and I was so grateful to have such lovely staff with me. I did end up having a fainting episode straight after because I was very silly and got up too quickly and I have a tendency to faint after being probed with needles, oops! I am glad I have an implant because it is much easier than having the pill and it has stopped my periods until I decide to have it removed or whatever. Many girls who have the implant either barely have periods or just do not have them at all, which has made life so much easier for me!

I am not sure if I am just going to have the implant renewed after the 3 years are up (I have had it for nearly a year a half now) or if I am going to have it removed and try using a different pill to see if my body just generally does not like any of them or if it was just that specific type. I also need to take into account my anxiety disorder because I cannot tell if the implant is making it worse or if it is having no effect on it. I have decisions to make about this, but it is something I do not need to think about until nearer the time.

I hope this has been interesting to read- Like I said at the beginning of this post, it is so important to talk about birth control and not to treat it as a taboo subject. I was never taught in detail about all the different birth control options, I learnt through social media and my own research instead. I feel the same about other topics which relate to sex, but I am sure I shall make posts about that in the near future! 🙂

Please do not hesitate to ask me any questions!

Much love,

Rhi. X

A letter to my Anxiety..

Hello there. Friend. Enemy. Betrayer. Manipulator.

You have been in here a while now, and I guess you will not be leaving anytime soon. Everything is a fear for me, a sign of danger, a thought of worry. That is all down to you.

I am not the same person I was 1, 2, 3, 4 years ago and so forth. That is all down to you.

I have been hiding in the shadows for far too long now. Shadows that were made of anxiety. Shadows that just exist in my head. I cannot get rid of you and you will always be there. Yet these days, I am glad you are there. Do you know why? Do you know why I have learnt to accept your existence in my body and my soul?

Because of you; I started blogging.

Because of you; I am more motivated than ever to achieve my dreams and aspirations of helping others and making changes in the world.

Because of you; I finally asked for support and help for the issues I suffer from on a daily basis.

Because of you; I am my own individual.

It does not matter if you make me cry everyday. If you make me want to hide in the shadows of despair.

What matters is that every day, regardless of how hard it is, I will face you time and time again. You may always be there, but I can try my best to make sure you do not control me. Yes, the world may be a scary place and yes, you may almost want to protect me from it. But that is NOT what I want. I want to experience every corner of life, regardless of how scary it may be. You may try everytime to make me mentally and physically sick once again, but even if that is the case, I will not stop. I will not stop being who I am and doing great things in life. I will not stop making every little bit of life count; it is too short as it is. You may make tears fall from my eyes, but I shall continue to smile through the dark times and smile even more through the bright ones.

You made me feel isolated so many times. How does it feel now it is the other way round?

There will always be battles between me and you until the day I die, but guess what?

I WILL win in the end, m’dear.

Much love,

Rhi. X

RHI’S BOOK REVIEW SERIES: The Little Book Of Calm and The Little Book Of Happiness.

Hello, darlings. ❤

In the latest addition of ‘Rhi’s Book Review Series’, I am talking about 2 very small, but very influential books, which give you therapy, as well as a good little read. I always see books as a type of therapy, but these two especially are so tiny and cute, yet wonderful!

The Little Book of Calm is written by Paul Wilson, whilst The Little Book Of Happiness is written by Patrick Whiteside. They are both designed so well that I actually thought that they had the same author- I was very much incorrect! ‘Calm’ gives you a hell load of tips on how to calm yourself when feeling stressed or anxious. I always make sure that I take this around with me, because it is so useful to have (I think we can all agree that life is extremely stressful and we forget that it does not have to always be that way). Probably two of my favoruite quotes from this tiny book is:cttbph7xgaade-jcttbpiaxeaabd8g

“Take all the time in the world: Contrary to what you may tell yourself, you have all the time in the world to do whatever you choose. What cannot be fitted into your day cannot be done- forget about it”, as well as “Find wonder in all you do: There is little doubt that those who get the most from life are those who look for the wonder in even the smallest things they do.  Cultivate this skill and you’ll find peace and satisfaction  as well.”

‘Happiness’ gives you little tips about how you can find happiness in even the smallest of things that you do. Like its counterpart, this book is very much uplifting and allows you have a smile to yourself, or even shed a few tears, as it gives you the chance to unwind. Two fo my favourite quotes from this book are:cttbph8wiaaabbycttbph9wiaawp6o

“Use your senses…..Seek beauty…In a flower, a dewdrop, in the scent of incense or woodsmoke” and “Sometimes thinking leaves us bewildered. et the bewilderment pass…Pause. Take a break…Let your mind work by itself.”

Both these books are something that you can read over and over again, without getting bored. Whenever you feel overwhelmed, stressed or upset, turning to these two books makes things that little bit better. I defintely suggest that you all give these a go when in times of need or suggest it to other people that you think would benefit!

Much love,

Rhi. X

An 18th Birthday Adventure.

Hello, loveilies!

As many of you are aware it was my 18th birthday on Saturday and oh my, it was bloody amazing!

It was a day of just happiness, peace and a rather large amount of food and alcohol, haha! It was a day that I did not become overwhelmed with fear or anxiety about issues going on in my life….I felt gernerally happy, which is something that can be a rare feeling for me sometimes.

I recieved such lovely birthday wishes, cards and gifs from family and friends. Things that I will treasure forever. I saw family members in the morning, then went shopping in Worcester with those that I am really close to. It is fair to say that this shopping and meal trip was certainly an interesting and hilarious one to be part of!!

Additionally, in the evening, I was surprised with a trip bowling and some more wonderful gifts, some of which I know will be an interest to you wonderful lot, and there will be blog posts about them in the near future. The kitchein in my house is currently bombarded with sweet food items, which I will probably be unable to finish until this time, next year…

At the bottom of this blog post, I have attached some photos from this lovely day that I had. Finally, thank you so much to you all for all the wonderful birthday messages, you’re all so kind! I am so grateful to everyone for making it such a great day. ❤

Adulthood is what you make it and I like to think that I will make it an exciting and a truly delightful expereince in my lifetime.

Much love,

Rhi. X

18 things that I have learnt over the past 18 years.

Hello, darlings!

So tomorrow, I FINALLY BECOME 18 YEARS OLD, AHHHHH! If you cannot already tell, I am extremely excited!! To celebrate this milestone, I thought I would do a post about the 18 main things that I have learnt over the past 18 years that I have been on this planet.

  1. Always show kindness to others.- I have learnt that kindness is one of the most powerful traits to have. Everyone goes through personal issues and a bit of kindness is always a great help. Even if they do not necessarily show it back, it is the thought that counts and also helps you build as a person.
  2. Good manners cost nothing.- My Father taught me this a long time ago, and it has been something that I have always remembered.
  3. It is okay to not be okay.- I, like many people, have been through a large amount of issues in the past few years. I learnt that no-one can always be okay and we will all go through bad times. Do not hide from your problems; face them.
  4. Some people are toxic. (Cut them out)- We have all had the experience of having toxic people in our lives, even if we do not realise it. I learnt that my life became much easier when I taught myself that toxic people are not needed in my life and I am better off without them.
  5. Exam stress is a thing.- It does not matter how much you try to deny it, exam stress does exist and everyone will have it at some point….. It is important to learn how to deal with it effectively!
  6. Friends are family.- Don’t get me wrong, I love my blood relatives very much, but I have found out over the years that my friends are also my family. They have been there for me through so much and I see them as a part of the famalam. Xoxo
  7. Those who are meant to be in your life will always find a way to be there- I am a massive believer of this. In life, people drift away from you and if they are meant to be in your life, they will find a way to do that.
  8. Help others.- Helping others has become a significent part of who I am. I feel a high amount of satisfaction and happiness when I help others. I just need to remember to keep looking after myself too!
  9. I am loved.- For many people, especially those who suffer from mental health issues, there are times when you believe that the world is against you and that you are someone who is not loved. I still get it sometimes, but I am starting to understand that it is in my mind; not reality.
  10. Life can be tough, but you will get through it!- Life can be pretty crap sometimes, but with determination and bravery, you will get through and be even better than you were before.
  11. Crying does not make you weak.- In society, there is a facade that crying makes you weak. It does not, it makes you stronger and it can make you feel refreshed after, because you are not throwing your feelings into the darkness.
  12. Be honest about your feelings and thoughts- I have spent many years keeping quiet and not speaking about how I am feeling/ the thoughts in my head. It can be difficult to express what you want to say, but is important to tell people. Not only does it take some pressure of your shoulders, but other people may feel the same and/or you can talk to people about what you are thinking.
  13. Ice cream is great.- I think we can all agree that ice cream is wonderful and a great comfort on difficult days. Plus, there are many glorious flavours!!
  14. Reading teaches you a lot.- As said in my previous post, reading is a wonderful tool for knowledge, empathy and creativity. It is a big part of who I am and I wouldn’t change it for the world. I have been a enthusiast for books since an early age and I am so happy for that.
  15. Heartbreak exists, it sucks.- Yeah, it really does, but how you decide to use this experience for future reference is up to you!
  16. Work and play hard.- Working hard is very rewarding and by doing so, you will feel great and also be able to have a great time afterwards.
  17. It is important to be a good role model.- Future generations will look up to you and ask for advice. Be a good role model and show them how to be great and individual people.
  18. Life has only just begun.- Sure, I am terrified for adulthood, but I can assure you all, I am going to make it bloody brilliant!!

Much love,

Rhi. X

English Literature is pretty damn great!!

Hello, darlings!

As many of you may be aware, I am a massive enthusiast of English Literature. Over the years, it has become a definite favourite subject of mine, which is also what I want to study at University, next year!

So, why do I love English Literature so much? Well, I guess it is because not only can you learn so much from it, but books allow you to escape from the stress of life for a while and become absorbed into poetry, stories, ideas and pure beautiful creatvity.

I believe that you can become a lover of Literature at any time in your life. I think that something that sometimes puts people off the subject of Literature or reading in general is mainly either because of social pressure or possibly personal issues, such as dyslexia. Please don’t ever let that stop you! Anyone is allowed to enjoy English Literature and all its wonderful aspects!

Whilst being at Sixth Form, I have done a range of work experience, and some of it has been based in English classes for people who are younger than me. The attitude towards english and reading is not at its greatest if you speak to young people, and that generally breaks my heart.

Motivate others to start reading, join a local book club, engage with others who have an interest in Literature. There is so much hatred in the word and Literature is such a powerful and beautiful source that we created, which spreads knowledge, love and the true creatvity that can be found in the world. We are so wound up in day to day life and the negativity in society, that we don’t allow ourselves to appreciate the small and beautiful things in life. Help to change that!

Much love,

Rhi. X

 

I couldn’t push people out of my life, even if I tried.

Hello, m’dears!

Something has come to my attention today about the past few years, regarding my inability to push people out of my life,  even if they hurt me to a large extent.

I guess one of the reasons I feel this way is because I am an extremely empathetic person. I find that as someone who suffers from severe anxiety, my empathy and connection with other people grows stronger everyday. Living with intense fear and worry all the time means that I have the ability to understand intensly why other people are feeling the way they do.

In a way, I think that is a postive trait to have, because I find that I really don’t want to get into arguments or cause emotional pain to other people, because I know how it feels to feel hurt or upset. If someone is causing me to feel upset, all I want to do is for the situation to calm down, give them a hug and work through things together. I have so much love inside of me and that urges me to want to go into a career that helps other people through a variety of things. Everyone acts the way they do for a reason and sometimes having someone listen to you or give you a hug is a great help.

However, the issue about feeling this way is that anyone could use that as an advantage to themselves. They could hurt me and they would know that I would still always be there for them and want them in my life. There have been a variety of times when people have hurt me, and anyone else would push them out of their life, but that is something I feel unable to do. I am so empathetic and caring towards others that even saying something that may remotely hurt their feelings makes me want to start crying. ( I am a very sensitive and emotional person, if you had not already gathered that, haha!)

Both my mind and heart wants to be surrounded by great people. But neither know how to do that without accidentally also letting poisionus people in through the door. So much stuff has occurred in my life and that has made me so clingly to people who are in my life, due to fear and paranoia of them just abandoning me, like some people have. People that I care greatly about.

My apologies for this post of rambling, oops! This week has been a time where my anxiety has been sky high and I just wanted to get some of my thoughts out on my online journal aka my blog.

See you lovely human beings soon!
Much love,

Rhi. X

How to motivate yourself when you aren’t motivated at all

I highly suggest this blog post for anyone who is having a crap day, it was of help to me!

 

Well… Let’s fix this situation right now   I know from first hand that sometimes it is just too difficult to keep going… you feel all your life is crap immerse on de…

Source: How to motivate yourself when you aren’t motivated at all

I am proud.

Hello, sweet peas.

I think it is always important to give yourself recognition for the things you are proud of achieving. Being proud of yourself does not mean that you are selfish or that you are self obsessed, but that you are aware that you are growing and improving as a person everyday.

Here are some things that I am proud of myself for:

  1. I am proud of always trying to be kind and empathetic towards others. It may be tiring and frustrating sometimes, but showing kindness to others gives me a lovely sensation that I have done something good. I also find that being a kind and empathetic person has allowed me to make great friends and has taught me more communication skills.

2. I am proud for getting out of bed everyday, even if I feel like life is suffocating me. There have been many times when I have just wanted to cry under my duvet or stare at the ceiling for hours, wanting the world to swallow me whole. I always fight back. I have learnt to force myself out of bed, regardless of my anxiety for the upcoming day, and many times I am pleasently surprised. I try my best to make the most of the day, even if my health, mentally, is having a bad day (Which happens a lot). Life is a strange place and it is okay to struggle sometimes, but it is always good to teach yourself how to attempt to rise up against your mind.

3. I am proud of myself for surrounding myself with great people. Finding yourself a life of happiness starts with making sure that the people you surround yourself with are people that are going to have a positive impact on you, not a negative one. At the end of the day, you deserve so much more than being put down and pulled back by negativity. I am glad I know what people who deserve to be in my life look like- Something I have taught myself to be aware of since the age of 16.

4. I am proud of myself for making this blog about life and raising awareness about a range of topics. Especially after being open about my own issues with other people, I wanted to become a blogger who inspired and helped others, as well being part of an amazing community. It takes motivation and determination, but I already have a great following and I fall more and more in love with blogging everyday.

5. I am proud of myself for working hard to complete the many goals that I have in life. Goals can only be achieved with hard work and I make sure that I try to do that everyday. Life brings me down and makes me want to sit in a dark room, but I know if I continue to work hard for what I want, important goals that I have an urge to complete will be achieved. I may not always have faith and belief in myself, but damn, it feels good when I make an achievement, regardless of whether that is small or large.

What have you done that has made you proud of yourself? Please feel free to share!!

Much love,

Rhi. X

Rhi’s Book Review Series- Reasons To Stay Alive by Matt Haig.

Hello, darlings!

As a massive lover of Literature and books, I thought it would be right to start a book review series about the many books that I have tendency to read. I hope you enjoy it!!

The first book that I wanted to review is called ‘Reasons To Stay Alive’ by Matt Haig. I recieved this book by a very close friend of mine who read it herself whilst going through a tough time and therefore gave it to me when I was also struggling. I am so bloody glad she did!

‘Reasons To Stay Alive’ is a true story that tells Matt Haig’s battle with depression and anxiety, detailing every twist and turn to recovery and how he learned to want to live once again.

I absolutely love this book because it is written is such a great way. Matt Haig writes the book with such passion, which balances both the humor and more serious aspects of living with mental health issues which he speaks about with such honesty. He does not speak as someone from the outside, but as someone who can be seen as someone to trust and to go to for advice when in need of it.

WIth some books, people can sometimes find it difficult to connect with pieces of work which include topics that relate to them, because they may feel the the author is talking at them and not with them. Matt Haig is a brilliant example of how books about advice should be written.

Not only does the book talk about the author’s story and how his mental health deterioriated, but also about how his mental health improved. He makes it clear that suffering from a mental health issue does not disappear, but can be managed and that there is in fact light at the end of the tunnel. The book also includes advice and to me personally, it acted as an extremely good counselor who was not patrionising, but was empathetic and supportive.

Obviously, you should not just rely on 1 book to improve your mental health issues, but this book is a great start in recovery! Furthermore, it is not just useful to those who are struggling, but also family and friends of those who may be living with mental disorders, as it increases understanding and decreases the stigma that is attached. The writing style used throughout is also amazing and so is easy for anyone to read, which is always a great plus!

Please read it, it shall give you a change of perspective about life!

Hope you enjoyed this review!
Much love,

Rhi. X

 

The Black Cat Blue Sea Award.

This award is for bloggers who strive to write for everybody, and no matter how many viewers they get, make an impact on a reader.”

Hello, lovelies!

It is really lovely that I have been nominated for this award. My appreciation goes to the wonderful Confessionsofareborngirl, whose a fab blogger which y’all should check out!

Here are my answers to the 3 questions I have been asked to answer!

  1. Who’s your favorite singer/band right now?

To be quite honest, I am into a lot of different singers and bands right now from a whole range of genres. All I can say is that my favourites include The Neighbourhood, PVRIS, Metallica, 30 Seconds To Mars, ScHoolboy Q, Bastille, Grimes and Twently One Pilots.

2. Where do you get the inspiration for your blog from?

The people around me in everyday life, my interests, as well as a variety of topics that I come across. I love running a blog which suits to a large range of people about loads of topics!

3. What’s your favorite thing to do on a rainy day?

On a rainy day, I love to be as snug as a bug in a blanket, drinking hot chcolate, and reading a book or watching a film/TV programme. That being said, I usually am forced to face the rain as I have to be on my way to places such as Sixth Form or other plans I have made! Haha, oh well!

My 3 questions are:

  1. Why did you begin blogging?
  2. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?
  3. How do you like to spend your free time?

I have inserted a copy of the rules and who I have nominated below…..Thank you once again for the nomination! Much love,

Rhi. X

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7 Lucky Nominees:

Boilersuitbabe

Robertapimental

Houseofhorrors

Unveilingtheincogitable

Akinderway

Thecliffhangerchronicle

Theshimmerwithinher

 

 

Belated World Suicide Prevention Day Post.

Hello, hunnies!
Yesterday was World Suicide Prevention Day….(September 10th). My apologies for not doing this blog post sooner, I was unable to get the time to do it! As you are most likely aware, this day is used to raise awareness of mental health and the topic of suicide. Not only does it put into perspective how important our mental health is, but it also allows people to be aware of the signs that could signify that someone is struggling.

I put this status on my Facebook, which shows my opinion on how important this awareness day is:

csegh4nweaevdxb

As mentioned in that status, it is so important that we talk openly about mental health and refrain from seeing it as a tabboo subject. Those who follow me know that I am a big supporter of raising awareness and helping others. The world has come very far in accepting mental health issues and learning how to look after our own minds.On the contray, stigma and misunderstanding is still in the mist and will not disappear until everyone is motivated to help change become a reality.

Please know that if you would like to chat about anything or need advice, you’re more than welcome to message me on Facebook or contact me via Twitter (my username is LittleRhiRhi_).

If you are in need of help, the Suicide Prevention Number is  1-800-273-8255 and I shall also attach some links to some mental health organisations. Please know that Suicide and/or suffering in silence is never the way forward and there are others way to get through the darkness.

Much love,

Rhi. X

Mental Health Organisations.

 

Why did I decide to start blogging?

Hello, you wonderful souls!

Ahhh, okay, Rhi. BREATHE.

Here is a more personal post, regarding my reasons for deciding to enter the blogging world! Now, for those who have had the chance to have a look at my ‘About’ page, you will already have some brief idea on my reasons, but this post will go into more detail about it.

I had been very much intriged about the idea of blogging for a while, as it seemed like a great community to be part of and to share my thoughts and ideas about the world we live in. Addtionally, I have a love for writing, so being on a blogging platform would enable me to keep all my English skills flowing. There is a more personal reason though: As I have mentioned in some previous posts, I suffer from rather bad anxiety issues, which makes day to day life difficult for me. What makes it worse is that having anxiety makes my life feel overwhelming the majority of time and it is extremely difficult to escape from that thought process.

Blogging, writing and reading enables me to escape for a short amount of time from the impending fear and anxiety that I suffer from nearly every moment of everyday. I guess that is why I am so passionate to embark on a career that involves English Literature and people. It is so I can help others through the use of  a subject that I love and help others incorporate coping strategies when feeling overwhelmed and to talk about their thoughts/feelings, which leads onto my next reason. I feel that my main objective is to help others, as long as I am alive on this planet. My blog is based around a large amount of different life topics, advice and discussions. My blog acts as a place for people to learn and discuss about a variety of things that come around in life, as well as helping to fight stigma, especially about a range of mental health issues.

What I love about blogging is that I have already been in contact with so many lovely and diverse people through it, which shows what a delight it is to be part of the community. I love that I am able to help and give advice to others just because of my thoughts that I share on my blog. I want to be a postive impact on other people’s lives and help others. Having a blog enables me to do that.

Rhi. X

The experiences of a young adult and University student who battles mental health issues. Advocating mental health awareness, wanting to create a positive impact in society.

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